Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Whoreoween

Halloween used to have something to do with scaring off spirits by making them too obese to haunt you. Or something. But now, its just that day for guys to dress like girls and girls to dress like whores.

I'll admit, Halloween is the prime opportunity to wear makeup you'd never usually wear. (Last time, I spent the better part of 30 minutes applying eye liner. I thought I looked stupid, until I realized that I was still wearing less makeup than half the people I work with.)

There are the standards- the sexy nurse, the sexy devil, and the sexy french maid. There's also the sexy school girl ("I'm going as pedophiila for Halloween!") and the sexy black cat ("Not weird if you don't think about it, but pretty weird if you think about it a lot"). Last year, I saw in addition the aforementioned: a sexy referee, a sexy pirate, a sexy peter pan, a sexy neanderthal, a sexy gypsy, and a sexy butterfly to name a few. ( I went as a woman who normally dresses slutty but dresses conservatively on Halloween... or I was too lazy to even wear a costume. Whatev.)

More ideas to try: sexy mailcarrier, sexy outsourced-indian-tech support, sexy senator, sexy pope, sexy refrigerator, sexy Lindy England, sexy octogenarian, sexy Ralph Nader, sexy fire hydrant, and sexy transmitted disease.

Sadly, though, adult Halloween costume choices pretty accurately reflect the status of "sexy" dynamics in America; which is, you know, pretty pathetic and immature. But so is eating candy out of a pillow case.

So, my costume for this year is the lady from the "Honey Bunches of Oats" commercials who says 'We have ta feed America!!" I'm not sure there is anything sexy about that, but, perhaps years from now, there will be.

(I'm forced by my own sensibilites to note that likening revealing clothing to "whorish" is somewhat innacurate, as choice in attire does not and should not dictate sexual behavior or the perception of such. But you know what I mean...)

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