Friday, April 25, 2008

The Cioci

I try not to get personal on this and keep it just random humor pieces, but I just found out that my Cioci passed away a few hours ago. 'Cioci' means 'aunt' in Polish,in this case great-aunt, but she was more of a grandmother to me. She was a great and incredibly funny lady and I will miss her very much.

Now, onto the humor part.... My sister Erin (who spells Cioci with an e for some reason) spent some time with Cioci last week. This is the exact email I got from her the next day.

Subject: Ciocie Speaks

Some of my gems from yesterday…

Erin: Cioc, want some juice?
Ciocie: Yeah, might as well get drunk.

Erin: Cioc, the Pope is coming to town.
Ciocie: Yeah, well, we paid his way. He wouldn’t be coming if we didn’t pay for it.

Erin: Cioc, all these game shows on tv, I never knew anyone on one – did you?
Ciocie: Nah…that’s all just for rich people.

Erin: Cioc, want another pillow? Want to sit up more?
Ciocie: Nah, I’m not a princess.

Erin: My parents are stopping by this afternoon.
Ciocie: My daughter must be sleeping in really late today.

Erin and Ciocie are watching this news story about some horrible crime.
Erin: How about that story, Cioc?
Ciocie: Yea, that guy had 6 sons and one daughter. Rich man!

Erin: Hungry for some more toast and jam, Cioc?
Ciocie: Not right now.
Erin: My mom made some cakes – want some of them?
Ciocie: Smiles and Yeah, that sounds good, alright.
Erin: Here’s the cake Cioc.
Ciocie: Nah, not right now.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Velvet Curtains

This is from a story on

"But there are some factors that help Obama. He's favored to win Philadelphia, with its large African-American population, and he could do well in that city's suburbs, thanks to upscale voters who tend to support him. "

What is an "upscale voter?"

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Things I'll Teach My Hypothetical Children #4

Kid, I'm no good at being noble. But it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world… well, they are the edible nutritious seed of various plants of the legume family, but that’s beside the point…I think mostly its the genus Phaseolus- look, don’t distract me. Seriously? I guess it’s from the Middle English ben, from Old English bean; with Indo-European roots. My point is, one of us needs to get a job and it is you.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008