Luxuriate yourself in our unparalleled food that satisfies every craving.

I WISH WISH WISH I was creative enough to have written this in jest, but it is real. My friend Doug passed this along to me because he knows how I appreciate this kind of thing. It is an excerpt from the website of a bar (Chill Bar) in greater Northeast Philadelphia.

Northeast Philadelphia. If you ever wonder why I hightailed it out of Philly as soon as UPenn decided to kill a sheep and make me a diploma, a small study of Northeast Philadelphia would help you understand. No offense to everyone I grew up with. (although, if you ever ask me, I will tell you I grew up in the lower northeast- which is true. Pretty close to North Philly- not because I want to be from North Philly- I just really want to not be from Northeast Philadelphia.) To be fair though, it's a place chock full of great memories, family, and friends I love dearly. You are the exception. Everyone I know is the exception.

I might elaborate someday, but for now, just read this to paint the picture. It sounds like it was written by teenage girls doing a group project for a Hospitality class. I have bolded the parts which are amazing to me.

ABOUT CHILL BAR:

Coming to Chill is a must! Chill is an exclusive bar that provides a pleasurable, entertaining, sociable, and energy filled environment. Chill is a new venture untaken by Stuart Thomas and Troy Garr, long time partners of the popular Famous Deli. They wanted to create a lounge/bar scene that is one of a kind, while blending the intimate, feel-good environment that has made famous popular. Stuart and Troy attempt to create a business enterprise that combines the best of their diverse personalities. And they certainly succeeded! Chill offers a sophisticated and chic feel with its maple floors, attractive colors, waterfalls, and lavish dining with exceptional dishes. In tandem, Chill combines an unconventional concrete blue bar top, eccentric wall designs, inventive plate displays and sensual drinks. Chill is certainly innovative, as it embraces a classy relaxed surrounding, while generating a lively and invigorating atmosphere.

So be original, try something new, and come drink, mingle and experience the Chillaxation! Luxuriate yourself in our unparalleled food that satisfies every craving. Enjoy our large selection of ice cold draft and bottled beer. Relish in our tempting martinis, outrageous infusions and exquisite collection of fine.

Come watch the big game on our Hi-Def flat screen plasma TV's. Come Dance, Drink, and Laugh to our weekly After-Hours entertainment including live bands, DJ's, Comedians, and Karaoke! And finally, dine, mingle, and relax in a comfortable, smoke-free setting!

Dining and socializing has never been so classy, so elating, so refreshing and especially so CHILL!

Mission Statement:
Chill is an exclusive bar that provides a pleasurable, entertaining, sociable, and energy filled environment. We stand to uphold a sophisticated and lively atmosphere, and are committed to owning and operating the highest quality restaurant/ lounge bar. We strive to continually improve the experience for all of our customers and employees through continuous originality, inventiveness and teamwork.

http://www.chillbarandgrill.com/story.asp

(I feel compelled to add that I view NE Philly through the lens of an annoyed, frustrated teenager. Something about the place brings that part out of me. It actually might not be as bad as i remember it.)

Fall 2008

#79

I am not one of the great minds of my generation.
The thought,
like an errand checked off a list on the back of an envelope.
The ease of some runny eggs, ketchup, cold coffee.
A diner I’ll forget.